My celebrity look-alikes... courtesy http://www.myheritage.com/. What a hoot!!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Don't See Me!
That's what Kassia says when she wants you to leave her alone. Usually this occurs when she's going to hide somewhere to do poops... But I digress.
My brain is in useless mode, which is never good, but especially bad right now as it's my last week before I have hip replacement surgery on Monday and I have a terrifying amount of work to get done before Friday. For anyone who reads my too-infrequent journal entries, that's why they've become even more infrequent lately. I just can't concentrate. All I can think about is the operation. I'm afraid of the whole thing. The pain, the indignity -- all of it. I'm afraid that my daughter won't understand why Mimi can't pick her up or play with her for a while and I'm afraid I'll hurt myself by trying to do too much too soon. I'm afraid my husband will have too much on his plate while I'm laid up. I'm afraid my boss will call every day wondering when I'll be well enough to work from home. Mostly I'm afraid that needing this operation in the first place means that I really am old.
Maybe that's the crux of the matter right there.
I still have so much to do before I can let myself get old. I have to stay in one piece until Kassia can take care of herself, but I can't remember what it feels like to have the kind of energy it takes to do all that. I wish I wasn't so tired.I know I have to think positively. But that takes energy too.
Ok. Moan over.
PS - For the curious... here's what they're doing http://www.zimmer.com/z/ctl/op/global/action/1/id/528/template/PC/navid/127
My brain is in useless mode, which is never good, but especially bad right now as it's my last week before I have hip replacement surgery on Monday and I have a terrifying amount of work to get done before Friday. For anyone who reads my too-infrequent journal entries, that's why they've become even more infrequent lately. I just can't concentrate. All I can think about is the operation. I'm afraid of the whole thing. The pain, the indignity -- all of it. I'm afraid that my daughter won't understand why Mimi can't pick her up or play with her for a while and I'm afraid I'll hurt myself by trying to do too much too soon. I'm afraid my husband will have too much on his plate while I'm laid up. I'm afraid my boss will call every day wondering when I'll be well enough to work from home. Mostly I'm afraid that needing this operation in the first place means that I really am old.
Maybe that's the crux of the matter right there.
I still have so much to do before I can let myself get old. I have to stay in one piece until Kassia can take care of herself, but I can't remember what it feels like to have the kind of energy it takes to do all that. I wish I wasn't so tired.I know I have to think positively. But that takes energy too.
Ok. Moan over.
PS - For the curious... here's what they're doing http://www.zimmer.com/z/ctl/op/global/action/1/id/528/template/PC/navid/127
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
29 Things About Me
(Why do we never get sick of these things..? )
- Q. Can you cook?
A. I can cook... Do I cook?... only if inspiration or necessity strikes. - Q. What was your dream growing up?
A. At age 6 I wanted to be an archaeologist. At age 12 I wanted to be a lawyer. At age 18 I wanted to be an actor. I should have stuck with archaeology. - Q. What talent do you wish you had?
A. Writing (...really writing) - Q. Favorite place?
A. hmmm... Paris or DisneyWorld... I can't decide! - Q. Favorite vegetable?
A. asparagus - Q. What was the last book you read?
A. Just started Richard Powers' Operation Wandering Soul but I don't know if I'm going to be able to finish it... it's really upsetting. - Q. What zodiac sign are you?
A. Pisces on the cusp of Aquarius with Leo rising
Q. Any tattoo's or piercings?
A. no - Q. Worst habit?
A. procrastination - Q. What is your favorite sport?
A. "favorite sport"? No such thing. "least annoying sport"? Probably soccer. - Q. Negative or optimistic outlook?
A. Disappointed optimist... - Q. Worst thing to ever happen to you?A. My dad died suddenly; there was no time to say goodbye.
- Q. Tell me one weird fact about you?
A. I'm 41 years old (no, that's not the weird part!). Since I left my parents house at 18, I have had 20 addresses. In August, we will have lived here for 3 years -- my longest time at any address in all that time! - Q. Do you have any pets?
A. Had a black & white (cow-colored) cat named Stinky Bumford before I got married. He was awesome. - Q. What time is it where you are now?A. 7:50 a.m. EST
- Q. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. pointless (except for Cirque du Soleil clowns who, on occasion, crack me up!) - Q. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Now that depends entirely on the crime! (Seriously though, I'm more likely to be the conscience...) - Q. What color eyes do you have?
A. Hazel. - Q. Ever been arrested?
A. no - Q. Bottle or draft?
A. Beer. eew. - Q. If you won $100,000.00 today what would you do with it?
A. omg -- downpayment on a house out of the city! - Q. What is your favorite drink?
A. Hard drink -- cosmopolitan; soft drink Hansen's soda - Q. Where's your favorite place to hang out besides your house?
A. I work full time and have a two year old. "Hanging out" is a distant memory. - Q. Do you believe in ghosts?
A. no, but I'm open to persuasion - Q. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. see #22 - Q. Biggest pet Peeve?
A. snap judgements. especially negative ones. - Q. Do you swear a lot?
A. I used to; not nearly as much any more - Q. In one word how would you describe yourself?
A. Perceptive - Q. What's your favorite color?
A. most shades of green; pretty much any color that appears in nature. Flourescent colors scare me. - Q. Do you go to church?
A. no. Was raised Catholic. Now I'm a confirmed agnostic.
Thump
We have wood floors... there was lots of "thumping" going on this weekend...
Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump... Kassia realized that she could actually leave her room in the morning without someone coming to get her... Peeking at her through my eyelashes (her head just level with the bed), trying to pretend I was still asleep, failing miserably because I couldn't keep from laughing when I saw the "Huh? I didn't know Mommy actually sleeps!" look on her face.
Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump... "Happy Mudda's Day, Mimi!"
Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump... "I don't wanna take a bath anymore..! ...oooh, bubbles!"
Monday, May 7, 2007
Funny Girl Part Deux
I.We were at my sister's house recently, and at one point during dinner my husband asked Kassia "Kassia, is Mimi beautiful?" She gave him a look of pure disbelief, then grinned and with the most dramatic tone immaginable said "No... I am beautiful!
II.
Kassia (seeing a very tall girl): Look! a long girl!
Daddy: That's right! Do you know another word for "long"? (hoping to get "tall")
Kassia: "Woman!"
III.
We spent an afternoon at Boston's Museum of Fine Arts, and Kassia was very interested in the ancient arts galleries. She especially liked a wrapped mummy... when she saw it she said "Look! That doll has an Ookie on her head!"
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Waiting
There are moments that stick in your memory although at the time they are not monumental; are hardly worth remembering. But even years later they are clear and sharp to the tiniest detail.
I remember where I was, but I'm not sure why. Audition? Rehearsal? Class? Rehearsal, I think. I don't think I had a very big part. I remember sitting in the old fashioned deep window box. Peeling institutional green paint. Margins of the panes permanently clouded with ancient grime ground into the glass. I remember the smell of the place. Old books, chalk dust, stale cigarette smoke. And I remember that it was quieter than it should have been given that there were so many people in the various rooms on that floor reading scenes, rehearsing in corners, pacing the black and white linoleum tile floor, gossiping, philosophizing. Or maybe it just seemed quieter. What I remember most is the view from those windows: a study in grey and brown and black. Rooftops in the Back Bay on a rainy late fall afternoon.
It was a Sunday. It was 20 years ago, but I'm sure it was a Sunday.
I was very young and I was waiting for my life to begin. I can still remember exactly how that felt... impatient, but resigned to waiting.
After all that's happened in the years since, somehow I still feel that way.
I remember where I was, but I'm not sure why. Audition? Rehearsal? Class? Rehearsal, I think. I don't think I had a very big part. I remember sitting in the old fashioned deep window box. Peeling institutional green paint. Margins of the panes permanently clouded with ancient grime ground into the glass. I remember the smell of the place. Old books, chalk dust, stale cigarette smoke. And I remember that it was quieter than it should have been given that there were so many people in the various rooms on that floor reading scenes, rehearsing in corners, pacing the black and white linoleum tile floor, gossiping, philosophizing. Or maybe it just seemed quieter. What I remember most is the view from those windows: a study in grey and brown and black. Rooftops in the Back Bay on a rainy late fall afternoon.
It was a Sunday. It was 20 years ago, but I'm sure it was a Sunday.
I was very young and I was waiting for my life to begin. I can still remember exactly how that felt... impatient, but resigned to waiting.
After all that's happened in the years since, somehow I still feel that way.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
No monsters there to see you...
We were driving home from Easter dinner at my sister's house. It's a 2 hour ride, and Kassia has never been one of those kids who fall asleep as soon as the car starts rolling. This time, though, she took a little nap, and had a new book to look at, and overall did really well.
As we (finally) got off the highway, Kassia started to talk to her "Ookie"... the way I might talk to her if she were upset.
"It's ok" she said, "Kassia's there... No worries... no monsters there to see you..."
She went on like that in a tiny voice for a minute and then I turned around. She was holding Ookie against her chest with her head resting on Ookie's head, staring out the window with a very concerned expression. She looked at me and I smiled at her.
She said "I talking to Ookie."
"You're a very good friend to Ookie", I said. "Does he feel better?"
She nodded and when I turned back around she started to talk again "No worries... no monsters there to see you..."
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I did both.
As we (finally) got off the highway, Kassia started to talk to her "Ookie"... the way I might talk to her if she were upset.
"It's ok" she said, "Kassia's there... No worries... no monsters there to see you..."
She went on like that in a tiny voice for a minute and then I turned around. She was holding Ookie against her chest with her head resting on Ookie's head, staring out the window with a very concerned expression. She looked at me and I smiled at her.
She said "I talking to Ookie."
"You're a very good friend to Ookie", I said. "Does he feel better?"
She nodded and when I turned back around she started to talk again "No worries... no monsters there to see you..."
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I did both.
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