Acts of Faith

I had that very disturbing conversation with my mother again the other day... It's the conversation that starts off amiable enough but quickly sinks the topic of religion (or lack thereof). From there, we proceed to teary acts of contrition where she apologizes for having "failed" me as a mother, and finally we hit the rocky bottom where she plays evangelist, and I try not to hurt her feelings while I debate her as to the merits of her faith.

We were raised Catholic and Mom is still very devout. I just don't believe it any more. The only thing I believe now is that religion (name your denomination) is the single most destructive force in the world. As for Christianity in general and Catholicism in specific, the myth just doesn't bear up under the weight of historical evidence. (I mean, really... the church fathers didn't even come to a decision on whether they believed that Jesus was Divine until the 4th or 5th century..!) When you add in the elitist, discriminatory aspects... well, I just don't see anything worth having in religion (moral compass, sense of community, etc.), that can't be had elsewhere. Everybody thinks they have the answers. Nobody has the answers. It's all wishful thinking at best and power-driven propaganda at worst.

The real subject of that discussion with Mom was my daughter. She's absolutely frantic that Kassia's not baptized; desolate that she won't make her first Communion at 7. If Kassia wants to pursue a faith when she's an adult, that's fine with me. I will support her in any decision she makes. But I intend to make very sure that she knows all the options before deciding to believe in one. That's not going to be easy. We don't live in a society that responds very well to "I just don't know." in matters of faith.

What I believe is that I am doing the right thing for my daughter. That's going to have to be enough for Mom.