Brunch

There’s a new(ish) café in town. It’s called Eye-something… or I-something; I can’t remember. Supposedly it’s very hip and trendy with the local college crowd.

Hear that? That’s the first set of warning bells ringing… Brian and I, no matter how cool we are at 40-something, are no longer part of the aforementioned hip, trendy, college crowd. Neither, at this tender point in her youth is Kassia.

Brian, however, has been pestering me to go to this place ever since it opened, and this past Sunday he decided it would be the perfect place for family brunch. Ok. Granted, I haven’t actually been there. For all I know it might actually be the coolest place in S-ville! Still, with its reputation of overstuffed beaded chairs, dim lighting and students huddled over the glow of their laptops… well, it just didn’t seem to be the sort of place that would take kindly to our very energetic 2-year-old.

When he emerged from the bathroom that morning, proclaiming his grand idea, Brian was in his hipster best: inky dark green cords, black T… (hmmm… it looks better than it sounds.) I, on the other hand, looked a bit like an LL Bean catalog that somebody fished out of the trash. No-nonsense, flannel & jeans -- not cool, ripped flannel, either – I looked like somebody’s mom. Which, of course, I am!

Let me stop here and say that I, personally, would love to spend an evening with coffee and grownup conversation in this place! I’ve still got a few black t-shirts! (hmph.) As much as I adore our daughter, not a day goes by that I don’t long for those walks through the North End or Beacon Hill and late dinners that lasted ‘til midnight. However… there are simply some things that don’t work with a toddler, and even if you do manage to get away with trying them (meaning you escape with your dinner consumed and without a major meltdown), the experience just isn’t the same. ..And wishing they would work just won’t make it so…

I wish Brian would come to understand that. It’s so much better to just be in whatever moment you’re in without trying to make it into something it’s not. It makes me sad that he’s so discontented. It makes me even sadder to know that someday he will be looking back at these moments and wishing he were still in them.

I suppose I ought to get to the part that makes me sound less Zen and well-adjusted… Back to the bathroom door.

When he ever suggested going to that café… again… my defenses snapped up. Oh for Christ’s sake! Can’t you just grow up so we can go have breakfast?? I know I should have tried to be more receptive to the idea, but I just couldn't, so I made a big, cranky, passive-aggressive show of "Sure, honey, whatever you want." and that set the tone for the rest of the weekend. Yuck.

The final irony was that the damn place wasn't even open for brunch! We then tramped all over town, with Brian getting crankier and crankier and me getting sadder and sadder. We ended up just getting a coffee/muffin in a little coffee shop. Kassia knew something was up... she was very, very good. Which made me even sadder.

Of all the things I've had to learn these past two years, I think the balancing act has been the hardest... and the one I screw up most often. Being a mom takes up soooo much of my mind and energy that I'm afraid I neglect the rest of my life.